Changing name on marriage in the UK has been traditional but is no longer an automatic decision.  Women who don’t pick up their husband’s name cite reasons such as unease with a tradition that implies ownership,  disappointment that children will have no inherited name to tie them to their female line, or simply inconvenience.

The choice for UK brides is just that.  There’s no legal form.  They can choose his name, hers or a blend of the two.  They can choose to change again if life changes, but they aren’t obliged to do so.

What conventions exist on naming for brides-to-be in other countries?

China

Most women don’t formally change their family name but they are customarily referred to by their husband’s surname.

France

Women keep their maiden names.  Marriage gives them the right to assume their spouse’s name but this is not subject to any formal, legal process.  In the event of a divorce, both parties lose the right to use each others’ name.

Germany

The pair can adopt the surname of either partner.  Whichever they choose, one surname must be declared as the family name, and any children will take this name.

Iceland

A woman keeps her maiden name.  This is because, no matter who she marries, she is always her parents’ daughter.

Japan

Legally, a married couple must share a surname, but this can be either the husband’s or the wife’s surname.  It is more usual for it to be the husband’s.

Russia

During the wedding, the couple declares which surname they will use.  They can keep their original names or adopt the name of one of them.  Often women adopt the feminine version of their husband’s name; so, Gorbachev’s wife will be Gorbacheva.

Spain

Spanish women have two surnames: the first comes from their father, the second from their mother.  There is no legal change to her surnames when she is married.

You choose

The predominant social convention in many countries remains the adoption of the husband’s name, but an increasing number of couples make a different choice.  Some women keep their birth surname.  Some partners both adopt the wife’s name.  Others are creating a new name: hyphenation of both names is becoming more common, either for the partners or for any children from the partnership.  Blending is another option: an example is the Los Angeles mayor, Antonio Villar married Corina Raigosa to become Antonio Villaraigosa.

Although a UK survey showed that 51% of men would be offended if their wife wouldn’t take their name, the name change is no longer a done deal.  It’s a question for couples to resolve.   The options are out there.  They need to choose the one that suits their preference and philosophy.

To change or not to change?  What’s your view?

Women have been wearing wedding rings for thousands of years.  The receiving of a ring started as a symbol of love and was also linked to the exchange on the wedding day of valuables between the bride’s family and the groom.  The prayer book from the time of Edward VI in the mid 16th century indicates that the groom declares “with this ring, I thee wed” then hands the bride a leather purse of gold and silver.

When did men start wearing wedding rings?

Giving rings to grooms is a relatively recent choice.  History has it that American jewellery makers started a marketing campaign to push for the adoption of male wedding rings in the late 19th century.  However, the idea didn’t take off until after World War II and, according to the V&A museum, didn’t become mainstream until the middle of the 20th century.

How many men are wearing rings?

A recent YouGov survey found that 64% of married men in Britain are wearing a wedding ring.  This compares to 91% of women.

Should they or shouldn’t they?

Those who choose to wear a wedding ring believe that it is an important visual and social statement of their partnership.  Without exchanging a word, someone recognises that the wearer has a partner to whom he or she has made a formal commitment.  Some view it almost as a talisman against infidelity – or at least, the invitation of temptation.  Having both partners wear wedding rings might be seen as a sign of equality; both are displaying their status in the same way.  According to YouGov, almost two thirds of people believe that men should wear wedding rings.

But a third of men don’t wear a wedding ring – including our future king.  Some people believe that a reluctance to take a wedding ring is a desire to continue to appear available – a rejection of the till-death-do-us-part committment.  The reasons might be more prosaic: the unaccustomed feel of jewellery is simply uncomfortable.  For others, their work prohibits rings, for reasons of hygiene or safety.  Some might substitute the traditional wedding band for another symbol, such as a signet ring or a tattoo.

Perhaps we ought to take “should” out of it.  Both the bride and groom make a choice about what they prefer.  A metal band can’t stop someone being careless with their marriage vows.  Men and women outside the partnership aren’t all circling predators who can be kept at bay only by the glint of a wedding ring.  The sight of a man wearing a wedding ring won’t raise any eyebrows these days.  That leaves the decision to personal preferences: of the individual and of the couple.

Just like any other choice in the relationship, the important thing is that both parties are OK with it.  As long as both are comfortable with the choice, does it matter whether they both wear wedding rings, one does, or neither does?  Prince William’s choice says that, whether you’re royal or regular, it’s simply up to you.

What do you think?  Do you feel strongly about who wears the wedding ring?

Photo credit: Andrew Milligan/PA Wire